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Best Premier League Quotes of All Time

The Premier League is globally revered not only for its spectacular football but also for the drama that unfolds away from the pitch. While breathtaking goals and masterful performances are par for the course, it’s the off-pitch soundbites that often leave the most lasting impression. For devoted fans across the world, the English top flight has served up some truly unforgettable remarks—both hilarious and bewildering.

Whether delivered in dry monotones or fiery tirades, the Premier League’s most iconic quotes often arise from moments of intense emotion or unfiltered honesty. What makes them even more remarkable is that, more often than not, the speakers are entirely serious, despite the outlandish nature of their words. From quirky metaphors to audacious self-appraisals, these quotes offer insight into the colourful personalities that have graced the league. Let’s dive into some of the most memorable quotes from iconic figures in Premier League history.

José Mourinho

Few managers have captivated the media quite like José Mourinho. A three-time Premier League winner, Mourinho is as known for his tactical prowess as he is for his entertaining press conferences. His “park the bus” expression is now part of football vernacular, and he’s a goldmine of witty, often bizarre commentary.

Here are some of his most outlandish lines:

• “Young players are like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100% sure that the melon is good.”
• “If they made a film of my life, I think they should get George Clooney to play me. He’s a fantastic actor and my wife thinks he would be ideal.”
• “I have a problem, which is I’m getting better at everything related to my job since I started.”
• “[God] must really think I’m a great guy.”
• “It’s not important how we play. If you have a Ferrari and I have a small car, to beat you in a race I have to break your wheel or put sugar in your tank.”
• “At the moment, we cannot walk from the bed to the toilet without breaking a leg.”
• “The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs – no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs… So, when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.”

By the end, it’s hard to know whether to laugh or grab some breakfast.

George Best

Renowned for his incredible dribbling and flair on the pitch, George Best also made a name for himself off it with his razor-sharp wit. Between 1963 and 1974, Best scored 137 goals for Manchester United, but his quotes are just as legendary.

Some of his most iconic lines include:

• “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
• “If I’d been born ugly, you’d never have heard of Pelé.”
• “I used to go missing a lot… Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World.”
• “I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.”
• “In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol – it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.”

On Cristiano Ronaldo, Best once said:
“There have been a few players described as the new George Best over the years, but this is the first time it’s been a compliment to me.”

On David Beckham, he didn’t hold back:
“He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn’t score many goals. Apart from that he’s alright.”

Peter Crouch

Peter Crouch, known for his towering 6’7 frame and his contributions to the England national team, also stands tall in the comedy department. With 22 international goals between 2005 and 2010, Crouch is as entertaining off the pitch as he was on it.

Some of his best quips include:

• “My wife doesn’t like football. One day, she called me 10 minutes before a game to find out where I was.”
• “I don’t have any tattoos, but that’s mainly because none of my limbs are wide enough to support a visible image.”
• “I don’t know why, but if I was walking down the street, the same people who called me freak would probably ask for a picture. It’s a real strange thing.”
• “I once bought an ill-advised half cashmere, half camel hair jumper for £800, then ruined it by spilling a pint of Guinness all over it.”
• “A little voice deep down keeps telling me that an Aston Martin really isn’t me, but a louder voice is telling me that as an England international… Big voice: Peter, you’ve never looked cooler. Little voice: Peter, you’re a monstrous bell-end.”

Bill Shankly

The charismatic Scotsman, Bill Shankly, remains one of Liverpool’s most influential figures. Leading the Reds to three league titles and the UEFA Cup, he also gave the world some of football’s most memorable phrases.

His best lines include:

• “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.”
• On resigning in 1974: “It was the most difficult thing in the world… It was like walking to the electric chair.”
• After a semi-final win over Everton in 1971: “Sickness would not have kept me away… If I’d been dead, I would have had them bring the casket to the ground, prop it up in the stands and cut a hole in the lid.”

Brian Clough

One of English football’s most outspoken managers, Brian Clough enjoyed success with both Derby County and Nottingham Forest—winning league titles with each. He never shied away from brutal honesty and had a unique style of communication.

Some of his classic remarks include:

• “Players lose you games, not tactics. There’s so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.”
• “I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.”
• “I’m a little bit of an idealist, I do believe in fairies, and that is my outlook.”
• “Resignations are for prime ministers and those caught with their trousers down, not for me.”

الخاتمة

These unforgettable quotes showcase just how colourful Premier League history really is. Whether through satire, exaggeration, or sheer confidence, the words of these footballing icons have become as legendary as their achievements on the pitch.